Scene 1 — Monica & Molly

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01_intro

Setting: MOLLY and MONICA’s dorm room.  At rise:  MOLLY and MONICA are sitting on their beds, the lights are dim and they are watching a video which is being shown on a screen for the audience.  MOLLY’s reaction becomes increasingly disgusted while they watch, while MONICA’s is wide eyed fascination.  The set on the video shows a church with naked ninjas, then turns into video with FRANKIE and DANIELLE doin’ it.

Sister Constance

Father Francisco, your large hot throbbing member makes me almost forget that I am a nun.

Father Francisco

But Sister Constance, to not share the bounty of your heaving bosom with the servants of god would truly be a sacrilege.

Sister Constance

Father, you are so wise, so let god’s will be done!

Father Francisco

Har har harrrr.  Oh god!

Sister Constance

Jesus!

Father Francisco

God!

Sister Constance

Jesus!

Father Francisco

God!

Sister Constance

Jesus!

Father Francisco

Goddddd!

Sister Constance

Jeeeeesus!

MOLLY abruptly turns off the tape.

Monica

Hey!  We’re just getting to the good part!

Molly

This is just too gross!  No more.  No more.

Monica

Oh, you’re such a baby!  Like you’ve never seen a porno movie before.

Molly

Well … uh.

Monica

Or feeelthy magazines?

Molly

Playboy.

Monica

You’ve never looked at people … ?  (MONICA makes an “in-out” motion using her fingers)

Molly

Oh my God, I can’t believe how disgusting you are!

Monica

And I can’t believe what a sheltered life you’ve led.  How are we supposed to do this documentary on the porn industry if you can’t even watch a movie?

Molly

You’re right.  It was a mistake.  I should never have let you talk me into doing this.

Monica

Hey, you’re not backing out on me, are you?

Molly

Well, kind of …

Monica

Prissy little bitch!  No way you’re getting out of this, so don’t even think about it!

Molly

But the more I think about it the more it seems, oh what’s the word I’m looking for?  Risky.  That’s it, it’s too risky.

Monica

Of course it’s risky.  It’s edgy!

Molly

Edgy?

Monica

Edgy.  What separates the dull from the delicious, my friend!

Molly

(She takes the tape out of the VCR)  This is edgy?  Up and Cumming, even the title is sickening!  Did you hear them?  “I like to lick!”  “Oh, yeah then why don’t you come over here and lick me!  Slobber, drool, drool!”  Besides, it’s degrading to women!

Monica

Exactly!  We’ll delve deep into the psyche of the porn star!  What’s it like having your body, nay, your very soul, laid naked before the camera?  Performing sick and perverted acts of sexual debauchery under the hot lights, with the moist breath of the panting, sweaty crew thick in the air all around?  Warm musky goo dripping from your every orifice!  Molly, this will be authentic, raw, powerful, no-holds barred stuff.  Together we will expose pornography!  (MOLLY begins to chuckle)  What?  What’s so funny?

Molly

I just got this picture of us both wearing raincoats and then … never mind.   (Scowls, speaks sarcastically)  Oh it’s all so edgy.  (pause)  So why is this Vincent guy meeting with us anyway?  Yeah, what’s this big shot porn producer want with two nobody college students.

Monica

I unleashed upon him the sheer force of my personality.

Molly

That poor man!  But hey, what’s the real deal?

Monica

Okay!  You’re just too clever.  I said we could get him some leads through our connections in the film department.

Molly

Leads?  You gotta be kidding!  Connections?  Hah!  And why would he want them, anyway?

Monica

Who knows what goes through his twisted mind?  Maybe he wants to become a college professor and ball all his students.

Molly

You think I’m gonna buy …

Monica

Oh, your whole “I’m so suspicious of how Monica got us these interviews” act is so five minutes ago, Molly!  It’s a done deal, and anyway, I know how to handle his type.

Molly

Really?

Monica

Really, yourself.  Look, Molly, why don’t you, as they say, just lie back and enjoy it.  Okay?

Molly

We’re getting in too deep, I can feel it already!  (starts to sob)

Monica

Not much deeper than about six inches!  Hey, what’s wrong?

Molly

I guess I’ve been freaked out all day.  That knocking at the window last night.

Monica

Knocking?  What knocking?

Molly

A knocking at the window.  Like this (MOLLY taps the sound of “Shave and a Haircut, Six Bits”).

Monica

(Laughing)  No way.  You must have been dreaming.

Molly

Yeah, I suppose.

Monica

C’mon.  Lay back and enjoy it.  (She puts the tape back on, lays back, her legs up on some furniture, her legs spread, her hand on her crotch)  Hmmm, interesting, verrry interesting … Clinically speaking, of course.

Molly

(Molly puts her hands over her face)  Ewwwww!

Lights fade.  Sound of a projector clacking after the film has run out.

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