{"id":2229,"date":"2016-01-29T18:18:15","date_gmt":"2016-01-29T23:18:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/?page_id=2229"},"modified":"2016-02-04T21:45:55","modified_gmt":"2016-02-05T02:45:55","slug":"scene-5-monica-molly","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/?page_id=2229","title":{"rendered":"Scene 5 — Monica & Molly"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
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\"05_xrated\"Vic Vincent\u2019s office, Monica, Molly, Vince sitting around.<\/em><\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

\u2026 So the bearded lady turns to the rubber man and says, \u201cYou think you\u2019ve got it bad, whenever I need a shave I have to go to the dentist!\u201d\u00a0 Get it, go to the dentist?\u00a0 (laughs gleefully while Monica and Molly stare blankly, gets up and starts dancing around the room, to the tune of \u201cSatisfaction\u201d)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Dum-dum, da-da-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum, da-da-dum, dum-dum, (singing)<\/span><\/em> I can\u2019t get no.\u00a0 Satisfaction.\u00a0 I can\u2019t get no.\u00a0 Girl reaction.\u00a0 (voice goes up and up)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 But I try, and I try, and I try, and I try-ie-ie \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Uh, let ,me guess here.\u00a0 You can\u2019t get no satisfaction?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

(sits down)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Hey, I knew you college girls were smart.\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly it.\u00a0 Satisfaction.\u00a0 If everyone had it, I\u2019d be out of business.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

So you\u2019re just filling this need and if you weren\u2019t doing it \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

And then I\u2019m supposed to say some stupid shit about how I\u2019m just some capitalist responding to free market forces and if people didn\u2019t want to buy my product, etc., etc., etc.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Isn\u2019t that how you justify your business?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

I don\u2019t justify shit.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

But don\u2019t you \u2026 I mean \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

(leans and whispers)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 You\u2019re selling cheap.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

What?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Here I am, letting you gawk at the big hairy beaver of the smut business, and here you are asking me dumbass questions you\u2019ve already got the answers to.\u00a0 So let\u2019s walk on the wild side.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to take it off, take it all off.\u00a0 Journalistically speaking, of course.\u00a0 So you, Molly, you ever gone to a triple-x video joint?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Excuse me, Mr. Vincent, but Monica and I are trying to conduct \u2026 I mean, uh \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

What Molly\u2019s trying to say is that we are the ones doing the interview.\u00a0 This is a serious study.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Hey, I\u2019ll show you mine if you show me yours.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Pervert!<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Hath not a pervert eyes?\u00a0 Hath not a pervert hands, senses, affections, passions?\u00a0 If you squeeze my prick does it not squirt?\u00a0 If you tickle my balls, do I not laugh?\u00a0 If you piss on us do I not, oh, you know.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Okay, I have.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in one.\u00a0 Once!<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Molly!\u00a0 Vic, what she\u2019s trying to say \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

I\u2019ll say what I\u2019m trying to say, if you don\u2019t mind.\u00a0 Yes, I have!\u00a0 It was on a dare.\u00a0 I was young.\u00a0 It was one of the grossest \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Molly, chill out.\u00a0 We are the film-makers here!.\u00a0 This is unprofessional.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Don\u2019t chill out.\u00a0 See, Mon, at least Molly\u2019s starting to take me seriously.\u00a0 So think back on that youthful indiscretion.\u00a0 How\u2019d you feel?\u00a0 C\u2019mon.\u00a0 I\u2019m on stage, you\u2019re on stage.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

I am not \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

You think you\u2019re not on stage as much as Brandi Goodhead taking it up the chocolate highway?\u00a0 C\u2019mon, so did you \u2014 accidentally of course \u2014wander into the queer section?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Monica, I think we have to run off to class.\u00a0 Mon-i-ca!<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Molly, we can get class notes from Alan.\u00a0 Yes, Alan will fill us in.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

No, I really think we need to go.\u00a0 Now.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Molly, stay put!\u00a0 (to Vic)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Damn you, Vincent,\u00a0 How many times do I have to tell you, the deal is that we interview you!<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Molly.\u00a0 The queer section?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

I am not a \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Queer guys section.\u00a0 Gay, for any PC\u2019s in the audience.\u00a0 You know, sailor hats and chains and washboard asses, huge hairy dicks hanging out.\u00a0 That section.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Molly, remember who you are!\u00a0 (she stares in horror at the following exchange)<\/span><\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Ohhhh.\u00a0 That section.\u00a0 I sort of recall \u2026 uh, no.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

(clasps his hands to his chest and rolls his eyes)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 My mother was right.\u00a0 I shoulda been a dentist.\u00a0 You sort of recall?\u00a0 So were you turned on when you first walked in there?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

You animal!<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Okay, page 59 of the Sensitive Man\u2019s Almanac.\u00a0 I know that this is difficult for you, Ms. Molly, and I fully respect your sensitivities as a woman, but perhaps you would feel better about yourself if you could openly and honestly express your true feelings \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Fuck you, you miserable son of a bitch!<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Oh, those feelings.\u00a0 Well, perhaps I should stick with a more traditional approach.\u00a0 (glowers)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Hey, c\u2019mon, bitch, don\u2019t just lie there.\u00a0 You gotta move around some here, or word\u2019ll get out that you\u2019re a lousy lay.\u00a0 Nothing worse than a straight pussy that don\u2019t even move.\u00a0 C\u2019mon \u2026 Yeah, you were turned on.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

I\u2019ll kill you, you rotten son of a bitch.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Excellent.\u00a0 This flow of genuine emotion is very therapeutic.\u00a0 And were you just as turned on after 10 minutes staring at donkey dong heaven?\u00a0 And did you come during that 10 minutes?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Why are you doing this to me?\u00a0 (starts sobbing)<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

You didn\u2019t come, but were less turned on, after standing there \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Where\u2019s that list of questions you had?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Shut up, Monica.\u00a0 Yes, I was less turned on.\u00a0 (still sobbing)<\/span><\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

(stands)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 You\u2019re dragging us both \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

My dearest Miss Sweetcakes, I do believe that Molly is handling herself rather well without a chaperone!\u00a0 She\u2019s clearly the one who\u2019s got the balls in this family, and probably the brains as well.\u00a0 (to Molly)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 I don\u2019t mind, Molly.\u00a0 Hey, Molly, you\u2019re asking a good question.\u00a0 (Molly continues sobbing)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Hey, Molly.\u00a0 (finally shouts)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Hey, Molly!\u00a0 You\u2019re asking a good question!\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry!\u00a0 Why I\u2019m doing this!\u00a0 That\u2019s a real good question!\u00a0 This movie is really moving along now.\u00a0 The plot thickens.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Sorry!\u00a0 You\u2019re sorry?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t this exactly how you get off?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

See, I\u2019m trying to use that, whatchacallit, Socratic method \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Care for some hemlock?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Shaken, not stirred.\u00a0 And I think you\u2019ve learned something.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Like what?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

About satisfaction.\u00a0 How do you sell dicks and pussy when everyone is surrounded by dicks and pussy?\u00a0 How do you keep selling dicks and pussy like it\u2019s new when all these dicks and pussies start looking the same after 10 minutes?\u00a0 You think I\u2019m not an artist to last this long in this business?\u00a0 A regular Prickasso.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

I hope you don\u2019t mind my digressing here \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Hey, we\u2019re consenting adults \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

\u2026 but I don\u2019t get your shtick.\u00a0 (VIC turns to face the audience and raises his eyebrows like Groucho Marx, MONICA interrupts him as he opens his mouth)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Don\u2019t you dare say it!\u00a0 This is exactly what I mean, one minute you, you\u2019re this sweaty, uncouth pervert.\u00a0 The one my parents warned me never to take candy from as a child.\u00a0 Almost beast-like in your wanton desires, no offense meant, of course.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Oh, none taken.\u00a0 (writing, speaks slowly<\/span>)<\/em>\u00a0 Al-most beast-like in his wan-ton desires.\u00a0 I can use that line.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

But then you turn around and start spouting Socrates like you were something more than just a, a, a \u2026 Mr. Vincent, who are you and where do you get off \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

What\u2019s it to ya, babe.\u00a0 It would seem that in our quest for truth we must clarify the operant persona and not dichotomize it from the operant activity \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Aha!\u00a0 Operant persona!\u00a0 Almost beast-like in your operant persona.\u00a0 That\u2019s the kind of talk I mean.\u00a0 I remember this trip to the zoo \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Not germane \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

And they had this dressed-up orangutan.\u00a0 I mean, you state, and I quote, this is exactly your business.\u00a0 Yet you would dichotomize your operant persona from your operant activity, thus violating \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

All right, already!\u00a0 Hoist on my own pecker, you might say.\u00a0 So \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

So where\u2019d ya get all dem big-ass words?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

(laughs)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Okay already!\u00a0 There was this trial, for pornography and corrupting nuns and virgins and public indecency \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

You were on trial?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Me?\u00a0 Mr. Pure as the Driven Snow?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Yeah.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

My boss was, some guy named Manny.\u00a0 I was just a lowly camera-man, not worth indicting.\u00a0 So Manny\u2019s lawyer wanted me to be a character witness and spout all this stuff on the stand about how this Manny was the reincarnation of Thomas Jefferson and Mother Theresa \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

She wasn\u2019t dead yet.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/p>\n

You never had her in bed.\u00a0 He had me read all this shit about prurient interest and contemporary community standards, sociology bullshit, Psychology Today and the collected works of Dr. Albert Ellis and Joyce Brothers.\u00a0 It was fun.\u00a0 I mean, I got paid for my time, hanging out in the library all week and picking up \u2026 hey, did you know that librarians are really hot?<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

That\u2019ll be our next documentary.\u00a0 So did Manny get off?\u00a0 I mean \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

And a good straight line is such a terrible thing to waste.\u00a0 Oh well, you should have seen me.\u00a0 I was fucking magnificent.\u00a0 Oscar caliber by all accounts.\u00a0 Best performance in defense of perversion.\u00a0 By the time I was done, the jury was tearing off their clothes and \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Vic!<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Well, they wanted to, I bet.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Did Manny, uh, was he acquitted.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Would have been, swear to God.\u00a0 But that dumb-ass lawyer, he pressed his luck, put Manny\u2019s star Suzie, on the stage, I mean the stand, more character testimony, you know \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

And \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Yeah, well, the prosecutor elicited some of the details of her deep, uh, affection for Manny.\u00a0 Also turned out that she was just 16.<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

And the jury was less than fully understanding.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Nicely put, my dear.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

Tragic \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Indeed.\u00a0 Good thing they didn\u2019t ask her about her deep affection for me.\u00a0 Anyway, I had the keys to all the equipment, and Manny\u2019s \u2014 what should I call them \u2014 superiors weren\u2019t too eager to get too close until it was clear just whose rent was going to be fully subsidized by the state \u2026<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

You have such a delicate touch \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

\u2026 and I was able to boldly go forth where no pervert had ever gone before.<\/p>\n

Monica<\/h4>\n

And the princess married the good prince, and the people were no longer oppressed, and they lived happily ever after.<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

For a while.\u00a0 For a while.\u00a0 Me and Connie.\u00a0 It took the big boys maybe a year to get their shit together, before they \u2026 uh \u2026 got interested again.\u00a0 We had some real fun.\u00a0 We answered how the elephant got into Groucho\u2019s pajamas.\u00a0 Why Napoleon kept his hand there.\u00a0 How \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Connie?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Why Dolly Madison sewed \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

Connie?\u00a0 Who\u2019s Connie?<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

So where were we?\u00a0 Oh yeah, the innocent maiden who wandered into the triple-x shop \u2026<\/p>\n

Molly<\/h4>\n

I just wanted to know \u2026<\/p>\n

Vic<\/h4>\n

Hey, this could turn out to be more fun than I thought, but \u2026\u00a0 (to Monica)<\/span><\/em>\u00a0 Hey, look, I gotta run.\u00a0 You know the way out, but hey, take care of her.\u00a0 Here, have some scotch (takes out a bottle of scotch and a glass)<\/span><\/em>, pour your friend a couple of stiff ones.\u00a0 Heh-heh.\u00a0 Yourself too.\u00a0 You\u2019re both looking kind of sick.\u00a0 I guess the pressure of studying and grades and all must get pretty intense, and the camera never stops.\u00a0 But the camera never cares.<\/p>\n

Vic exits, Molly begins sobbing again, Monica pours a glass of scotch, pushes it toward Molly, takes a big swallow straight from the bottle, grimaces, slams the bottle down.\u00a0 Sound of projector.\u00a0 End<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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previous scene next scene Vic Vincent\u2019s office, Monica, Molly, Vince sitting around. Vic \u2026 So the bearded lady turns to the rubber man and says, \u201cYou think you\u2019ve got it bad, whenever I need a shave I have to go … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2229","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P77v4L-zX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2229"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2390,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2229\/revisions\/2390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}