{"id":2006,"date":"2016-01-22T21:04:33","date_gmt":"2016-01-23T02:04:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/?page_id=2006"},"modified":"2016-06-02T17:46:30","modified_gmt":"2016-06-02T21:46:30","slug":"scene-4","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/?page_id=2006","title":{"rendered":"Scene 4"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n
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\"04jake04\"A room with 2 chairs. A man sits in one, his face in shadows, absently fondling a large revolver, aiming it, moving it in an arc, checking the barrel. There is a knock at the door. He puts the pistol down beside the chair, away from the audience, his hand hovers over it.<\/em><\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Welcome to my parlor \u2026<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

(enters)<\/em>\u00a0 Oh, thank god you were in!\u00a0 I mean, that you\u2019re here!<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Well. I\u2019d hate to put you to any trouble.<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

I mean, that you\u2019re still alive.\u00a0 I mean, that I\u2019m not too late.<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Nope.\u00a0 Just late enough.\u00a0 For a woman of your caliber.\u00a0 (laughs menacingly)<\/em>\u00a0 Take a seat, please.\u00a0 (kicks out the 2nd chair)<\/em>\u00a0 I\u2019d advise against sudden movements.\u00a0 I be faster than the fastest snake.\u00a0 And oh, I don\u2019t rattle first.<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

(sits)<\/em>\u00a0 Okay, okay, I guess I really should slow down.\u00a0 I, I, I know I\u2019m not making much sense.\u00a0 And I can tell that you\u2019re a right powerful and important person, and it\u2019s such a great honor that you\u2019ve even allowed me into your presence and all, but there\u2019s something I\u2019ve got to tell you, and I don\u2019t quite know where to start \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

How about cackling while you tie me to the railroad tracks?\u00a0 Or try \u201cAha, I\u2019ve got you now!\u201d\u00a0 Personally, I\u2019m rather fond of the sawmill and that big whirling buzzsaw, but then I\u2019ve always been a classical kind of guy.\u00a0 Traditional values and all that.\u00a0 Or \u2026<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Would you just shut the fuck up!\u00a0 I mean, oh god, I\u2019m so sorry, I didn\u2019t mean to \u2026 uh, well, to begin with, where am I?\u00a0 Please.<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Where are you?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

I mean, this big door was open, and I walk through these huge dark halls, and I climb all these stairs, and I\u2019m like drawn to the light at the end of this hallway, and I walk through this door \u2026 but I have no idea \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

And you were sent to confuse me to death?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

\u2026 and I don\u2019t even have the slightest idea who you are \u2026 It\u2019s just, I mean, I\u2019ve never done anything like this before and \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Never?\u00a0 That\u2019s not what I\u2019ve heard, my dear.\u00a0 Your reputation does precede you.<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

\u201cMy dear\u201d your ass!\u00a0 I\u2019m just trying to save your life!<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Well that\u2019s a relief!\u00a0 My last two visitors were Jehovah\u2019s Witnesses, and as much as I hate having to shoot callers \u2026<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

(shouting)<\/em>\u00a0 Save.\u00a0 Your.\u00a0 Life.\u00a0 Got that?\u00a0 Should I repeat myself?\u00a0 Save.\u00a0 Your.\u00a0 Life.\u00a0 Comprende?<\/p>\n

Jake holds up his palm, and Amanda goes silent for a moment.<\/em><\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Pardon my discourtesy.\u00a0 After all, Bloody Lane with the Tits of Death isn\u2019t known for playing with her food.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start over.\u00a0 Knock knock.\u00a0 Who\u2019s there?\u00a0 I\u2019m just here to save your life.\u00a0 I\u2019m just here to save your life who?\u00a0 I\u2019m here to save your life tada, tada \u2026 (long pause, extends left hand)<\/em>\u00a0 Well, c\u2019mon, dammit.\u00a0 It\u2019s bad enough playing straight man.\u00a0 You want me writing punch lines too?\u00a0 Knock knock what?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Look, get serious, Clyde.\u00a0 You\u2019ve let me get this far, so no more games, okay?<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Touch\u00e9.\u00a0 But was you who came a\u2019knocking, so to speak.\u00a0 Okay?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Well, double touch\u00e9 for you.\u00a0 Hmmm.\u00a0 I guess as long as you don\u2019t pick up a phone \u2026 I reckon we\u2019re safe.\u00a0 And whatever you were thinking of saying \u2014 better not.\u00a0 Maybe we\u2019ve still got time so here goes.\u00a0 See, I work at this psychic hotline.\u00a0 And yes, it\u2019s utterly fake, but the point is that I\u2019m not.\u00a0 Fake, that is.\u00a0 And this afternoon, when you called, I saw you being killed \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Called?\u00a0 Saw me being killed?\u00a0 Tout le mort!\u00a0 When I called, you say?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Right.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even know how I found this place, but the door was open, and then I walked down these halls, and I half expected to find you here dead.<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

My dear Miss, uh?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

It\u2019s Amanda \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

I\u2019m Jake, by the way.\u00a0 Amanda, Jake.\u00a0 Jake, Amanda.\u00a0 So pleased to meet each other, I\u2019m sure.\u00a0 And you said get serious?\u00a0 Then shut up and seriously don\u2019t move a muscle.\u00a0 That includes blinking.\u00a0 Just look away.\u00a0 Look away, I won\u2019t say it again.\u00a0 (Amanda looks away)<\/em> Good.\u00a0 Now don\u2019t move.\u00a0 (Jake rises, puts his hand on her left breast, she tenses, he squeezes)<\/em>\u00a0 Do not move.\u00a0 (pauses a moment, does the same with the right breast, sits back down)<\/em>.\u00a0 Yep, they\u2019re real all right.\u00a0 Now that we\u2019ve been properly introduced \u2026<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

(hissing)<\/em>\u00a0 The point is that I\u2019m the real McCoy.<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

The point is that you were trying to tell me something.<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Okay.\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 To the point.\u00a0 (pause)<\/em>\u00a0 I see things.\u00a0 I feel things.\u00a0 Things happen.\u00a0 Strange things.\u00a0 What they mean isn\u2019t always real clear \u2014 whether they\u2019re premonitions, or spirits, or … Oh, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 But even if I usually don\u2019t know what they mean, it usually turns out they mean something.<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

So?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

So I\u2019m on the phone today, and it\u2019s been a bad one, psychic vision-wise, don\u2019t ask, and I get this call, and you\u2019re sitting at the phone, and this guy with a gun comes up behind you and blows your head off, blood sprays\u00a0 \u2026\u00a0 I see it in my head just like I was at the damn movies.\u00a0 And \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Sorry to be so slow, but I\u2019m starting to get the picture.\u00a0 Number one, we\u2019ve established that you haven\u2019t come here to kill me, whether I deserve it or not.\u00a0 We\u2019re clear on that?\u00a0 C\u2019est verite?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

What?\u00a0 Haven\u2019t you heard a word \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Bear with me, my dear.\u00a0 There are complexities.\u00a0 Do you even know who or what I am?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Jake?\u00a0 Otherwise, not the foggiest.\u00a0 I just \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Clearly.\u00a0 You just go wandering around walking through strange doors \u2026<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

You don\u2019t have to make fun \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

\u2026 since you\u2019re only trying to save my life.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 But you see me being killed, so you come trotting over to save me with no idea who I am or where this is.\u00a0 Well, Ms. Amanda who sees all, perhaps I can enlighten you.\u00a0 See, I\u2019m the minister of environmental protection.\u00a0 Northeast quadrant.\u00a0 The generalissimo, el comandante, el queso grande, that\u2019s big cheese to you, gal.\u00a0 The most powerful man in this so-called neck of the woods.\u00a0 And any idea what I do?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Protect the environment?<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Very good.\u00a0 Now for extra credit, what exactly does that mean?\u00a0 Don\u2019t know?\u00a0 Take off two points.\u00a0 Anyway, part of my job is making sure nobody knows what that means.\u00a0 The title is a joke.\u00a0 After the big burn, we\u2019re sitting around some board meeting, drunk as lords, and some dame says, \u201cWhy don\u2019t we call ourselves the Ministry of Environmental Protection,\u201d and we all start laughing our asses off.\u00a0 Thus and forever it was named.\u00a0 Environment is everything, after all.\u00a0 Cities, fields, wastelands.\u00a0 I build.\u00a0 I destroy.\u00a0 And I even protect what I have created on those days when I feel like protecting it.\u00a0 Thus your answer is correct.\u00a0 Partially.\u00a0 C-plus.\u00a0 So what else you know?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

That visions of death follow me everywhere.\u00a0 I know it was crazy, coming over here \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

So you run around chasing these visions \u2026<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

No, I don\u2019t.\u00a0 Do you think I\u2019m nuts?<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

You just said \u2026 Oh, a good straight line is such a terrible thing to waste \u2026 but how do you think you got in here, into the Ministry?\u00a0 Do doors just magically open up?<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Yeah, that did kind of weird me out.\u00a0 Door wide open.\u00a0 Not a soul around.\u00a0 Gee, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Is good help that hard to get?<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

Ha!\u00a0 I like that.\u00a0 And it is that hard to get.\u00a0 But no, it\u2019s because I told security to clear out, told them I was throwing another orgy with my aerobics instructors.\u00a0 Security\u2019s used to it.\u00a0 Lord, if I\u2019d really known who you were, I\u2019d have released the hounds.<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

I really wish I could make better sense of all this. but …\u00a0 It\u2019s like some curse.\u00a0 I\u2019m trapped in some nightmare.\u00a0 Usually\u00a0 \u2026\u00a0 look, sometimes I see all this stuff, mostly bad stuff, like a bad movie in my head.\u00a0 I see people are going to die, and they die, or they\u2019ve already died.\u00a0 But I can\u2019t change the channel.\u00a0 I can only scream.\u00a0 Or go mad with terror.\u00a0 Or rage.\u00a0 But this time, it was so strange, somehow I knew \u2014 I didn\u2019t just kind of feel it, I knew \u2014 that I was part of this.\u00a0 Involved.\u00a0 (Jake about to speak, Amanda raises a hand, Jake remains silent)<\/em> \u00a0Still, I thought if this time I could use this curse to save a single human life, well \u2026 nobody talks about redemption, anymore, I guess that\u2019s too corny, or maybe folks just figure we\u2019re all damned no matter what.\u00a0 But redemption!\u00a0 If somehow I could change something, at least my time on earth wouldn\u2019t be just this living hell.\u00a0 And this open door was calling me \u2026 Why?<\/p>\n

Jake<\/h4>\n

I harbored a misconception.\u00a0 I wanted it open \u2026<\/p>\n

Jake pauses, adjusts his chair, slowly turns his head.\u00a0 As his face comes for the first time into the light, Amanda sees that it is indeed the face in her vision \u2014 the face of the killer.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u2026 because I thought YOU had been sent to kill ME!<\/p>\n

Amanda<\/h4>\n

Oh my god!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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previous scene next scene A room with 2 chairs. A man sits in one, his face in shadows, absently fondling a large revolver, aiming it, moving it in an arc, checking the barrel. There is a knock at the door. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2006","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P77v4L-wm","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2006"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2572,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2006\/revisions\/2572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinspice.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}